Speed Bump

Is your table set for the big day? Thankfully, I am not responsible for that big job in our family yet. Maybe that is why I can look forward to this holiday without the work of hosting or shopping for gifts. I think if Ryan and I ever host we'd be tempted to try a vegetarian Thanksgiving. Given the low enthusiasm that would generate in both our families, I think we're safely off the rotation list for awhile. I've already accomplished my pre-holiday fast thanks to an unexpected bout with the flu. I am very thankful that I am the only one in the household that came down with it. Ryan handled home and kids with great skill and let me truly rest. The kids were pretty sweet and gave me many hugs and kisses (on the top of my head/knee/ankle/shoulder, so as not to get sick). Of course, Izzy the great cuddler, couldn't really stay away. She came home from school yesterday and sat at the far end of the couch, near my feet. She kept scooting closer and closer, finally ending...

There is nothing worse than a sick baby. The tired eyes, runny nose, and flushed cheeks resting quietly on my shoulder are a far cry from the happy, content Izzy we know and love. And when you have a sick baby, all bets are off. Schedules, routines, work and sleep are all thrown out of whack. There is no center, no North to my day.  We went to the doctor and she was given antibiotics for her ear and her sinuses, and then it was just a waiting game until she felt better and her fever went away. All I could do was hold her. And hold her I did - in the morning, at night, all through the day - in the shower, while I ate, while I attempted to fold laundry, while I read a little for work, while she was awake, while she slept. Izzy is a cuddly baby and she likes to be held a lot on a good day. When she is sick, it is like she becomes another limb, glued to my body, following and hindering my every move. We become inseperable, a singular unit caught in a haze of di...

Yesterday was a long day. A long day at work, a long day away from my kids. By all accounts it was a successful day. I left the house at 7:30am, leaving my family with all the required bottles, lunches and school items needed to get through the day. I had time to pick up bagels on the way to work to sustain my lab and boost morale through our busy day. We had visitors coming in from Ohio to do an experiment and that was non-stop action from 8 til 2. At 3, I had an important conference call with researchers from all over the world (someone on the line from Australia - it was 6am there - and from Denmark where it was 11pm). The call lasted two hours and by then it was time to make a mad dash to get these two... Our daycare is open til 6pm but if I get there much past 5, C & Iz might be the last ones there. Is there anything worse than picking up your kid from day care to find they are the last ones there? I imagine Charlie's face as he wat...

The daily battle of the bottles I've said many times how much I love the baby stage and I don't want it to end. But there is one part I will not miss. While home with Izzy it was convenient to breastfeed her - not so much now that I'm back at work full time. The challenge that goes along with breastfeeding and pumping is the working mom's best kept secret. Holy heck is it hard. I'm so proud that it has gone well with Izzy and in 6 months she has had less than one container of formula (yes, I'm bragging. I earned the right!). But it is incrementally harder now and between washing bottles and pump parts and the lost time at work, its hard to keep the positive aspects of breastfeeding in mind. Now that Izzy has started trying real foods (post coming soon!) I know she will need less milk and the insanity will lessen. But after focusing so much of my energy for the past 6 months on making sure I supply her with enoug...

I was supposed to travel to DC for a one day meeting today. I've been on this committee for three years and made this trip every year. I traveled a lot for work this past spring/summer and so decided to stay home and attend this meeting by conference call. While I did miss the face-to-face with my colleagues, I had some pretty nice company at home for the phone call. I think it was a good trade. The parties at my end of the conference call

I am torn. Torn between work and home, career and kids, the age-old argument without new solutions. Torn between wanting to have something to call my own and wanting to be the best mom I can be. Can I be good at both my career and being a mom?  Are the two mutually exclusive? This idea was recently discussed on a blog I love, Motherlode (there is a link to the NYTimes blog on my sidebar). You can check out the book Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood and one of several blog posts on the book here . As a college student I always said I was going to wait to get married until my 30s (check), I would marry a man totally supportive of my having a career (check, check) and he would be an excellent chef and do all the cooking (check, check and check!). I also said I wouldn’t get married until I made my FIRST million. Well, three out of four ain’t bad.   Back when I made those checklists, they were simply ideas in my head of how I though...