Speed Bump

  Happy Birthday to me! Turning 30 wasn't a big deal, it was anti-climactic. 29 was the big one for me. I looked back at my journal entries around my 29th birthday, and was quickly reminded of why I never re-read my journals. I sounded like an angst-ridden, love-lorn teenager with all my worries about finding 'the one' and waxing poetic about when I might find my true love. Feeling like so much of my life was still missing, I dreaded my birthday every year. What a difference a decade can make. 10 years ago I celebrated my 29th birthday in Florence, Italy. I had just signed a lease on a new apartment in St. Louis sight unseen. I had plans to get a dog once I returned to the states (can't believe Roxie is going to be 10 in July). I was on the verge of starting a new fellowship, with no idea of a faculty position anywhere in my head. I didn't yet know I would take a job in Kansas City and move back home. I didn't know I would finally meet 'the one...

Turning 30 was a big deal for me. I had accomplished many things, but I was still single and felt far from my dream of having a family. Getting my Ph.D., running marathons, living in another country and learning a foreign language - these were all goals I could tackle and will to happen. Finding love and a person to share your life with is not something you can put on your TO DO list and easily check off. Sure, you can put yourself out there and prioritize your personal life, strive to meet new people, engage friends and family in your efforts, and be open to all avenues of finding love ( even online !). But in many ways, it is out of your control and my Type A personality had a really hard time accepting that. I remember well the pressure I felt turning 30. I think for women, 30 feels like an age when we should have our acts together, know what we want and how to achieve it. In 1997, Glamour magazine published a story titled " 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Sh...