Saying goodbye

We're leaving our cheery, lovely home in a few days. Crazy to think we won't be living there anymore. When we bought it, we thought it would be our forever house. Ryan and I weren't yet married at the time, no kids in the picture. It will be almost 5 years to the day since we moved in that we will load up all our boxes and leave it empty. The house is changed by our time there, and yet not changed at all. Our five years is only a blip in the history of this 100 year-old house. Yet it was so much more than that to us.

This was the home where we had our first big fight as an engaged couple and I slept in the guest bedroom for one lonely, long night. This is the house where we celebrated with a brunch for family and friends the morning after our wedding. We brought home first one tiny bundle of joy to this safe place, and then another. We walked the creaky wood floors at night and played musical beds til early morning during that newborn haze. We splashed water on the bathroom floors, and sometimes the walls, and watched little bums run naked down the upstairs hall. Charlie's footprint is in the new driveway, the kids' rooms lovingly planned and painted just for them. First smiles, first steps, first teeth, first words - they all happened within these four walls. The kids won't remember this house, their first home. But I will. I will remember it as a happy place that gave this family its legs.

All of my previous moves have been on my own - even the last one was me packing up my things while Ryan packed his across town. There was always something a little lonely about moving. Even with friends and family to help, I was always up late taping the last few boxes on my own in an empty house. My thoughts would swirl with hope, uncertainty, excitement, and fear of the unknown. This move feels different. I am moving more stuff, for sure, as we are now a family of five (Roxie counts, as always). I am moving with my family for the first time and, with or without our stuff, our home will be wherever we are together. I will miss this home and all our happy times there. But unlike previous moves, I don't feel any fear or uncertainty. I'm excited and ready.

Bring on the trucks!