That Christmas feeling....

My grandparents' Christmas with Conniff record was my favorite thing about Christmas when I was a child. If they had other Christmas records, I definitely don't remember them. I only wanted to hear this one over and over again. My request to hear the record was never denied, even in the middle of Summer. Hearing the traditional Christmas songs channels everything good about Christmas for me. I used to listen to the CD when I was away from home in college, graduate school and across the pond. This record always transported me back home and put me in the holiday spirit.



I don't remember one present my grandparents gave me for Christmas as a child. Not one. I'm sure there was a special doll or toy each year - they always tried hard to get my brother and sister and I just the right gifts. My grandparents did not have much money and I remember my grandmother used to put things on lay away (remember that?!) at the small department store in my hometown. The gifts were not extravagant, but they were carefully selected.



I don't remember the presents, but I remember exactly where the mistletoe hung in their kitchen. I remember what we ate for dinner, my grandmother's delicious fudge. I remember where these little Christmas figurines were placed in their living room.

I set them out now in my own house and, together with the Conniffs singing, I'm flooded with my favorite holiday memories.

We are on the edge of belief in our house this year. Charlie practically begged me last night to confide in him as to whether Santa is truly real. His friends all tell him Santa isn't real, and yet he wants to believe. We still put Buddy the Elf through the motions every night - hiding him in the frig, in the doll house, on top of the tree. Charlie and Izzy delight in finding him every morning, and then they whisper to me suggestions of where he could hide the next day. They still want to believe in all of it and I'm happy to help them if I can.

I'm sure my Mom felt the rush of Christmas and the pressure to find just the right gifts. I mean, there was no Amazon Prime! Can you imagine?? But if my Mom was stressed out by the holidays, I never saw it. Just like I hope my kids don't see it now. I'm as guilty as the next parent of trying to fit in all the traditions -  trips to the Nutcracker, ice skating, seeing the Plaza lights, baking Christmas cookies.  I try to remind myself that we don't need to do all these things every year. I tell myself to go with the flow and phase out old traditions in favor of new ones as the kids get older. It doesn't matter that they didn't have on their holiday attire when they saw Santa. They saw Santa! I remind myself that a really messy kitchen can be cleaned up. Let them use ALL the frosting.

I strive to create a feeling of wonder and joy this time of year just like any other parent of young children. And yet I'm pretty sure the most indelible Christmas memory for my kids to date is when our Christmas tree came crashing down last year, smashing every ornament and traumatizing us all. We can laugh about it now, if we couldn't then. Sometimes the best holiday memories are the unexpected and imperfect ones. We can't plan them, but we should embrace them.


I'm off to bake the granola and listen to the Ray Conniff singers with Love Actually playing in the background. Wishing you a merry, bright and perfectly imperfect holiday!